Sustenance By Ismail Musa Menk
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Predictably Silent
You can almost always tell when something is going on in my life because I am silent… predictably so at that. I like to consider myself somewhat private, yet I have a blog… Can’t be to private if I am going to have a blog right?! Well, even with having a blog, and updating about what’s going with me from time to time, I really don’t share too much on here.
I logged into FB after months of absence from the site. I realized that I really missed my peeps. Will I log on more often.. can’t say that I will, but it was cool to see that they are happy and thriving!
I am also realizing that I need to do a lot of things, but I just can’t seem to muster up the motivation. What do I do in such a situation? I just press on anyway… so that is what I am going to have to do.
Peace
Neels
Insomnia
I have been up since about 3:00 this morning, and sleep seems to have left me. I hope that the cycle of no sleep, no appetite, massive migraine, and repeat isn’t starting over. I think I am starting to stress, and I need to release some of this stress.
What is stressing me? I really can’t say. I think that I am not doing the things that I want to do, and with each passing day, I feel less and less demotivated. I know that I have to do my best to try to achieve my goals, but of late I have not had the energy.
InshaAllah I will get out of this funk because this is totally not me!
I am going to try to get some sleep because there are a lot of things I need to do today, and a tired Neely isn’t a happy Neely.
Peace
Neels
Boy do I need a boost
May gray is in full effect here in soCal, My mood has been matching the weather a little. I think my nutrition has a direct relation to the sudden drop in enthusiasm. Well I am gonna get on the trampoline because I am generally a bubbly person, so yaasssssss i need to be bubbly again.
Peace!
Neels
Motivated
So I have a new found motivation to drop some weight.. hehehe… Let me just clarify before I continue. The way that I speak, many would think that I was obese or something, but that is not the case. The problem is that I do have some excessive weight that I need to get rid of, and since I am still comfortable with how I look, I am not exactly trying very hard to lose it.
I was recently speaking with someone very close to me, and I realized that if I want to lose the weight that I should just stop making excuses and go for it inshaAllah. There are a lot of things I want to improve in myself, so inshaAllah with the support of my loving hubster, I can meet my goal.
Well I am off to try to get my jog on.
Peace
Neels!
Happy
I’m happy! Alhumdulillah! I have so much to be thankful for, so I’ll just settle for saying I am happy and content.
Peace!
Been a while….
… since I actually posted workout numbers. I used to do so daily on my FB account before I deactivated it, but even then.. nothing much to my blog. Well here are the numbers from this mornings workout… I barely felt it, and I am not sure if it was because I am in better shape, or because I just wasn’t pushing myself. I know that 2 miles in 20 minutes is a little slow, but I just didn’t have it in me to push myself. (didn’t have much motivation)
I did do some step aerobics before I started running to warm up, and I had a good sweat with that. I also did like 1000 jumps on the trampoline before the run. Maybe this combination had me not wanting to push at all. I only ran once this past week (2.5 miles), and I was mostly on the trampoline for my workout. I will say that I love running. I can think, I feel I get some clarity, and I am able to sort through emotions or thoughts that have me too serious to enjoy life.
What were my thoughts this morning as I was running?! Well today I was talking with someone and I asked a question that even surprised myself. For most it is insignificant, but I hadn’t felt “insecure” in a Looooooong time. I wondered what happened. I don’t even know if it was insecurity but for the sake of argument lets just call it that… I was shocked… I just couldn’t understand why would I even care to ask that question… lol… so on my handy dandy treadmill I went and thought about recent events that would have me not exuding confidence.
What was the conclusion at the end of the run? Well… I love me and that’s that. I am muslim, and Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) created me, and I should be grateful for how merciful HE has shown towards me. Took 2 miles to get there, but yeh… that was weird for me… inshaAllah I can inflect more…
I hope you got your workout on… remember… if it aint tight it aint right ^_^… lol hahahaha…
Peace
Neels
Weekend Project: Abaya
So for those of you who know me, you know that my go to outfit is the abaya. It is simple, its comfortable, and it doesn’t take much thought regarding matching colors and so on. You will also know that I probably wear a black abaya with minimal design if any.
Now if you have ever purchased an abaya, you would also know that those things are Heeeeeexpensive… l mean, I know that nothing is free, but subhanaAllah… why do you gotta charge like 90 bucks ($90) for a rectangle with sleeves?! I don’t get that, but hey… I guess we all have to make a living, and beyond that people must be buying it since I haven’t seen the prices drop in the least bit. In any event, I got it in my head that I can make my own abaya… yup.. why do I have to pay that kind of money for something so simple. It is also a dream of mine to some day sew the majority of the clothes that my family and I wear 
I know that I am a bit off from achieving that goal, but I have to start somewhere right?!
In the above photo, and the one to the right are the sewing machine and serger that I am using for this project. In the background you would see the alphabet on the fridge, and 
some hand prints that mini left on the wall after one of our painting sessions. I haven’t wiped it off because I think it is so cute. There is a matching set of prints on one of my sofas.. yahhh.. i’m a first time mom ^_^
I changed the color of the thread in the serger because pink is not cute when everything is black.. well maybe it can be, but I like uniform on the seams of my clothes… I simply took a photo of the serger as it was when I took it out of the cupboard.
To start, I just serged the ends of the abaya. I left the cutting part down so that I could cut off the fabric as I was serging. This really helps to reduce fray ends.
I struggled a little with this because I don’t go in a straight line it seems… I was completely missing the fabric at times.. lol! With patience and perseverance… I got it done
So once I was done serging all sides of the abaya, I went ahead and sewed up the ends. I call the extra sewing reinforcements. I previously made an abaya, and I had problems because once the serged parts started to come apart, there was nothing holding the material together.
I have pins in the material to help with the sewing, but I honestly didn’t need them once I serged the material. I am still having some struggle trying to sew in a straight line, but who cares right?!
So here is a photo of the outline of the abaya, that I was attempting to make. I had already cut the shape of the abaya out of the material at this point in time, and I had to serge, sew, and cutout the hole for the head.
It isn’t exactly a rectangle with sleeves, but you get the general idea of what I was saying… now tell me, when this is simple enough to do, why would I spend even $40 for something like that. I admit that some of the embroidery on some of the abayas are really nice, but I am almost certain I can find an embroidery machine that can hook me up with some nice designs or designs I can download from the internet. I still have to cut out the hole, but inshaAllah it will be done soon!
Hope you had a wonderful and productive weekend!
Neels
5 more minutes please
So mini has a new buddy that she has been keeping,ate hours with. As a result she wakes pretty late in the morning. So yesterday mini had an appointment, and her buddy was like wake up… Wake up… You have to get breakfast and get ready to go to your appointment… What does mini say? Can I have 5 more minutes please?
LOL that was too funny to me… First of all… What does she understand about minutes much less asking for 5. Secondly… How does a 3 year old have appointments and commitments? Lol! Too funny. So I need to put the law down in the house.mwhile she is getting enough sleep at night and into the day… She is missing an entire aspect of the day because of the late hours.
Well that’s all for now…
Peace
Neels
My First Niacin Flush
If you don’t know what Niacin is… its a vitamin… check out more here… anyway, so I mentioned a few entries ago that my insurance was changing, and with it my primary care physician. I haven’t actually picked one, but I am hoping to start the hunt again soon once things settle a little. Regardless of that though, I had plans of trying to “doctor myself”, so I have been doing some reading. One of the books that I am reading is by Dr. Andrew Saul, and he was talking about how Niacin lifts ones mood.
It has been a bit stressful these past few days, so I figured what the hay… why not?! What’s the worst that can happen really? I didn’t really have anything to lose, and I figured I would benefit from taking some Niacin. This morning was the first time I tried it…. woah!!!!!! what a rush! When I say rush… it was like such a different experience than anything I had ever experienced… and I totally loved it.
I didn’t have anything to eat (I probably won’t do Niacin on an empty stomach thing again), but I bought a bottle of 500MG of Niacin per capsule, and did I bother to open and only consume some of it? Nooooooo I popped the entire pill and jumped in the car. As I was pulling up to the office when the flush started. It started with my breathing seeming more intense… and by intense I mean I was breathing more deeply, but it felt like my lungs could take in more oxygen, so I kept breathing in deeper and deeper. I felt my heart rate pick up a little as if I was experiencing something exciting, and in a rush my entire body felt as if it was on fire…maybe being on fire isn’t a good description. I would describe the experience more in line with on a somewhat chilly spring morning when one steps out into the late morning sun, and that warmth that is felt all over.. the kind where you just want to stand in that spot all day… you know that warming that you get just before it gets uncomfortable being out in the sun? That’s the warmth that I felt all over. My skin appeared to be blushing, and it wasn’t only restricted to my cheeks… my entire body was blushing.
It was really a wonderful feeling, and it lasted for about an hour if not more. As I felt the flush going away, I found myself feeling a bit chilly, but once that feeling was gone, I did feel more relaxed. As I mentioned, things have been a bit stressful these past few days, but I was completely relaxed. I was even able to share some laughter with those around the office.
Would I do it again? InshaAllah I want to. I am considering having another dosage before bed, but I am planning on saving that experiment for the weekend. I would like to explain the experience in terms of having a high… I definitely had moments when I was completely mellowed out.. followed by a burst of energy and a feeling of I can do anything, along with a little of everything is going to be ok kind of high…
In some ways I would want to experience this feeling at a time I am too shy to mention here.. lol… is it weird that I would want to experience a Niacin flush with someone else? I wonder if anyone else would actually like the feeling that I had…
Ohhhhh welllllllllllll.. that’s that, and this is this… I need to go to sleep because it is waaaaaay past my bedtime, and I have an early morning inshaAllah.
later!
Neels